Do you ever clock off work but realise your brain definitely hasn’t? You’ve shut the laptop, but you’re still writing emails in your head, replaying conversations, or planning tomorrow? Me too.
After 20‑plus years in a demanding job and as an overthinker, switching off doesn’t come easily. I can be cooking dinner, sorting washing, or watching peppa pig with my son and still be mentally running work scenarios. This year I set an intention to lighten up a bit. Attempt to have more fun, be less serious, re-connect with friendships I’ve neglected in the last year or two. It’s a work in progress, but the thing I’m practising most is actually detaching from work when I’m not there. Some days I do it. Other days it goes straight out the window. The trick is catching it early when its happening too much.
Why It Matters
I’ve spent my whole adult life in stressful, high‑pressure roles. For years I assumed that was just “how it is” — you build resilience and get on with it. I found that setting boundaries, being organised and having self‑awareness helped. But sometimes the demands are simply too much, and instead of challenging the stress, we acclimatise to it. It becomes normal.
The reality is we’re only irreplaceable at home. You can give 100% at work and, quite rightly, people will carry on when you’re not there. So where’s the line between enthusiasm and burnout?
I was listening to a podcast with Lewis Howes and Guy Winch last week, and one line really caught my attention:
He said “You don’t finish work when you close the laptop. You finish work when you stop thinking about work.”
And yes, that’s exactly it! Every time I’ve struggled that explains it. Burnout isn’t always about hours — it’s about intensity, mental load, and whether your brain ever gets to stand down. This gets harder when the demands of either side of life (home or work) tip you into a constant stage of hyper vigilance.
How I Know I’m Tipping Into the Danger Zone
Over the years I’ve become much better at spotting when I’m sliding into unhelpful territory. For me, the signs look like:
- My patience is thinner and I’m less tolerant, even if I’m not working extra hours
- My sleep is more disrupted and I wake up feeling less rested
- My thoughts get noisier and I’m more distracted, mentally rehearsing work while trying to do something else
Kids help with the physical stopping — pick‑ups wait for no one — but they don’t magically switch off the mental chatter. If your brain is still in “work mode,” your body being at home doesn’t count for much. Ever felt there but not present?
What I’m Trying (and How It’s Going)
Guy Winch shared a few practical ideas, luckily some I’d already used and others that I’ve started experimenting with:
• A de‑work ritual
Something that signals “work is done.” I’m hit‑and‑miss with this, but I’m trying to be consistent. Right now mine is: empty my head onto digital sticky notes, tidy the desk, stretch, then shift into mum‑mode.
• Work clothes vs. non‑work clothes
It sounds basic, but changing clothes helps my brain switch gears. Sometimes this means early‑evening pyjamas. Anyone else??
• Filling the white space
Your calendar is full of instructions during the day, then suddenly… nothing. Adding simple labels like “family time” or “relax” is supposed to signal a new focus. I’m testing this one.
• Knowing what recharges you
Rest isn’t always enough — sometimes you need a recharge. For me it’s time with friends or getting outside, even if doom‑scrolling feels easier in the moment, but knowing what recharges you is a start.
If any of this resonates I’d definitely recommend the full podcast. We give ourselves such a hard time for not being present as much as we’d like, but its just hard some days. Demanding jobs, busy home lives, so much to remember. I will keep trying new things to crack the code and see if I can stay in the calm space a bit longer each time. Here’s to actually clocking off, not just closing the lid and hoping for the best.
Coachingwithjen 